Spring has arrived, the snow is gone now for another year and April slipped right past me. I guess nothing too exciting happened last month to write home about. So now it is May and I can feel the excitement of trips and guests arriving starting to build.
Brooke left for Ontario to visit friends on April 29th so Melody and George have been camping out with us for the week. We have been having a great time with lots of laughs, bonding in the kitchen, and of course enjoying our drives when all the good talks happen. I thought I would wrap up the week with a trip to Miramichi for a couple nights. We leave tomorrow (Friday) and will be back sometime Sunday evening. Monday Brooke will be back and our visitors will return home and life as I know it will return to normal.
Something interesting did come to my attention this week. Rumor has it that someone in town heard that Billy helps out around the house and yard. Their opinion is that because Billy pays rent he shouldn't be doing work around the place. I will admit that my first instinct was to be pissed off that someone who knows nothing about us had the gall to judge. Then I thought about it and my opinion is that they are just another negative Nancy with nothing positive going on in their own life so they sit around Tim Horton's exercising their loose tongue. I asked Billy if he had ever been told this by anyone and this was his reply: "No, but if someone did say that to me I would set them straight. I would tell them Peggy does nice stuff for me so why shouldn't I do nice stuff for her?" This is one of the things I love about Billy. He doesn't have a problem telling it like it is! This is called a reciprocating relationship, a concept many adult children don't understand. Billy gets it! When you do nice things, nice things happen even if that nice thing is only the good feeling you have for doing something nice. Billy takes great pride in every little job he does around here and also the jobs he does for the town and anyone else that asks him for help. He has so much energy that if he doesn't burn it off in a productive way it can build up and wreak havoc on his nerves.
I will tell you my thinking behind Billy helping out. If I had an adult son living in my home I would expect him to pay rent to cover the costs of living. I would certainly also expect him to help out with day to day tasks around the place. This is a home and we think of ourselves as a family, not a special care home, not a group home, a family. I think people living in group homes and special care homes miss out on so much if they are not allowed to help out to the best of their ability. They miss out on the pride that comes from a job well done and the feeling of gratitude they get from the recipient of that help. They become totally dependent on someone else for every little thing and can also become expectant of having everything in life handed to them. So many people I know have gone from living a life with purpose and skills into a home where they have lost those skills and become dependent with not much reason to get out of bed in the morning.Could this also be the reason behind so many people with disabilities suffering from depression? Hmmmm??
I do believe in some circumstances a person with a disability can be exploited, made to do work and not receive their just rewards. This is the reason sheltered workshops are becoming a thing of the past. All people hired to do a job should be paid nothing less than minimum wage, period. However, when being a part of this family we know that if we do the work together we have more time and money to do things we love to do. The time and money we save allows us to travel to visit family and friends, explore new places, meet new people. There is never a day where we are staring out the window watching the rest of the world go by wondering where they are headed or wishing one of those cars full of people would stop in and visit us. No sir, we are far to busy for that!
The greatest compliment I have gotten was from Dr. Lister. He grew up with Billy and has been his family Dr. Billy's entire adult life. He said to me "I have never seen Billy so happy, keep up the good work and keep doing whatever it is you're doing." That was the best payment for what I do!
So there is my rant for today. If you have an opinion, please feel free to comment below. Now it's time to finish laundry and pack our bags for tomorrows adventure. A group of people, living together, helping each other along the way, heading off on that ribbon of highway, reaping the rewards of our hard work and dedication to our family!
Have a nice day and enjoy your Timmies :)
