The Pie That Takes Off Weight

I was happy Friday to be at a conference in Moncton. The speaker was John McKnight and he was going to talk about community, I knew I would be coming home with great information to share and some new ideas about how to connect people and make things happen. When the room suddenly started to tilt I put my head down and closed my eyes. I've had this feeling before and thought it would pass in a moment or two. It didn't. Dear God, don't let me faint or throw up here in front of all these people I don't know! I suddenly felt the need to get out, something was wrong and I had to leave. As discreetly as possible I slipped out of the crowd and went to the washroom, splashed water on my face and looked in the mirror. Nothing looked different but the feeling wouldn't go away. Get a grip!!, I told myself. Calm down and go back in, you will be fine. After returning to my table I realized this was not going to work. My hands began to shake, my face felt hot, heart was racing and the room was closing in. RUN!!! I left with my things and went to my car to wait for the feeling to pass so I could drive home. It was a 2 and 1/2 hour drive but I had a Dr.'s appointment on Monday and thought if I could get home and just sleep for the weekend I could get this straightened out Monday.
When I finally thought things were settled down enough, I started to drive, opened my window and turned up the music. Not far into the Mountain Road traffic it started all over again only worse. I wheeled into the Canadian Tire parking lot and knew I needed help. I was alone in a city where I didn't know anyone but a stranger appeared at my car door where I was bent over trying to breath and figure things out. I told her I needed a walk in clinic...I thought my blood pressure was spiking and was afraid I was going to have a stroke. She helped me into the Pharmacy where I took my BP...it was off the charts. They called an ambulance and I was saved from the humiliation of dying right there in the store. Looking back, it's funny what goes through your head when you are scared but at the time all I could think was that I needed to let someone know where I was so they could pick up my body should this happen. Thank goodness for cell phones and free texting.
I spent the day in Moncton Hospital, found out what I had was a full blown panic attack and at the end of the day it passed and I was able to get back to my car and drive home. (I'm tring to make a long story shorter) I never would have thought I was the type of person to have this happen. I like to think of myself as strong and determined to overcome what life throws at me. I'm the one that wants to help everyone else and doesn't like to take help from others...there are always people with bigger problems than me and my life is blessed in so many ways. Why would I be panicking?? Apparently my body wasn't believing the story my mind was telling it. You can't fool your nervous system.
Once back in the security of my home my friends here began to call. I wanted to be alone, just go to bed and not think or talk about anything. My neighbour showed up to check up on me and it wasn't long before the flood gates opened and everything pent up inside was released. I felt weak and embarrassed but at the same time it felt good to just let it out. She listened without judgement and tried to offer advice. Everything eventually settled down and with my fears out in the open they didn't seem as overwhelming. I spent the weekend with all my friends and realized that I'm not really as alone here as I thought when I was in the hospital.
Friends from work also sent me a nice gift that I'm sure they believe was a small gesture but in reality it changed my whole perspective.
Here's what happened. The gift of my friend's support showed me that perhaps I wasn't sent here to help people that needed me. I think I was sent here to be helped, to be taught that we all need to ask for help sometimes and if we can humble ourselves enough to ask for it when needed it can take the weight of the world off our shoulders. So there my friends, is the moral of my story.
Eating pie can take off weight when the type of pie is Humble.

PS....I also realize that I didn't need to go all the way to a conference in Moncton to learn about community. The lesson was right here at home.
Thank you all!! xoxo